Sunday, January 25, 2015

Do you suspect the same for WMAF couples? That the male is a fetishizer and the female is putting white guys on some kind of pedestal?

princessoffloral:



thisisnotchina:



so to be honest, i have a lot of complex thoughts about the reactions to the last answer, which i did not write. discussing attraction and interpersonal relationships is difficult because they do not necessarily map onto political ideologies. i do personally get annoyed when i’ve had people actually ask me how i could’ve dated white men in the past considering my pro-asian, anti-racist leanings. being on the receiving end, i realize it’s a nuisance to have to defend myself.


AT THE SAME TIME, i think the way people responded to the last post does ignore a lot of social realities. despite my own experiences being in interracial relationships, i do get kneejerk reactions (particularly with WMAF and WMAM relationships), because i am concerned about the very real ways that asian women and gay asian men are sexually objectified by white men, or (in the case of AMWF couples) the ways that (straight) asian men are socialized to uphold white femininity as ideal over asian femininity. maybe yi could have rephrased it in a way to highlight this, but being concerned about whether and in what ways these social constructions subconsciously affect people’s attraction to asians is a valid reaction, and does not suggest that “every interracial couple is like that.” you can acknowledge that these are actual problems that need to be addressed without assuming that we’re talking about your parents, whom we’ve never met, or that we’re talking about your relationship, or whatever.


-e

no no no no no nope no no no holy shit no!


are you mixed race? no? then you really don’t get a say in whether or not you treat mixed race couples with ‘suspicion’ or not. trust me, mixed race people and mixed race couples already get fucktons of shit from monoracials of all races - too white to be asian, too asian to be white (or whatever combination you are) - and it’s really fucking exclusionary. we already get this shit from racists everywhere - to have a social justice blog start spouting this exact same bullshit is shocking, and really fucking disappointing. we already spend our entire lives being told that we’re destroying various races because we aren’t “pure” enough, and constantly treated with suspicion by both sides of our family for being the wrong race. 


do not care how concerned you are about fetishisation right now - that’s fantastic, but absolutely does not give you the right to discriminate against mixed race relationships or mixed race people! when your kneejerk reaction to any mixed race couple is immediate concern and suspicion, you cannot pretend you don’t think “every interracial couple is like that” when you are treating every interracial couple like that. the only social reality being ignored here is the unholy amounts of shit mixed race couples and people get from society, and you are actively contributing to that with your kneejerk negative reaction to them. i’m sorry it was just a “nuisance” to you - this is my entire life!


you can absolutely acknowlege problems, yes absolutely - but only if they arise. otherwise, you are being racist towards mixed race people and couples and you need to acknowledge that.


check your monoracial privilege. 



you are reaching so hard in this post im worried you might have sprained something vital.

1. monoracial privilege is not a thing anymore than monosexual privilege is. let’s just get that basic framework established first.

2. it is not discriminating against mixed raced children (you pulled that idea out of thin air lmao the op didn’t even MENTION them) to be concerned ab the balance of power and privilege in a white/poc interracial relationship. if you’re really concerned ab problems mixed kids face like idk, the racism and abuse our white parents throw at us is a bigger problem than those evil monoracials being worried our white dad is a fetishist.

3. again I know half of tumblr SJ is SOCY 101 kids who can’t understand social dynamics unless they’re steamrolled to fit into a privilege/privileged format for easy consumption and the other half just want any chance to collect SJ points and level up but. Monoracial. Privilege. Is. Not. A. Thing. Especially in America or Europe aka “non poc counties” lmao.

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