It is so tiring to see the world only through the prism of sex and violence, because it’s all I’ve been conditioned to expect since I was a child. Constantly living on edge, scanning the exits, keeping my back to the wall, waiting for a fight to break out. Constantly waiting for the rough grip on my shoulder, the grip I won’t break free from again. My thoughts tripping in a barbed wire maze.

I am weary down to my bones. My very soul is tired. I want to know when I can put down my knife and sleep. I know I never will.