I keep having horrific sexual nightmares in the lead up to my start of PTSD imaginal responding therapy for dealing with getting raped as a kid. I woke up from the latest one today and was just like “well I’m a hypersexual bag of flesh who got taught over and over again that my only worth is sexual by men using my body, so I might as well jerk off to this so I can relax before I go to therapy.”

Starting to think therapy isn’t going to fix me, lmao.