language-escapes:

Okay, but no, seriously, now I need to talk about Rachel and Cassie in the end.  Because we get totally screwed out of seeing these two women talk, toward the end- we’re done with their POVs at book 50, with only a snippet of Rachel at the beginning of book 54 and then Cassie POVs post-Rachel’s death.  So we got fucked out of seeing these two talk and try to reconcile, which blows in every possible way, but just- the post about Rachel nearly punching Cassie was painful. 

But I think it’s sorta important to remember that Rachel nearly punched Cassie right after this:

Rachel glared at her.  “Okay, Cassie,” she said in a sarcastic-sweet tone.  “So, what do you think we should do instead?  Just sit here and wait for the Yeerks to find us?  Or maybe we should make it real easy on them and all go hop on the train for a little swim in the pool.”

“Why do you have to be so horrible?” Cassie exploded.  “You are, you know.  And you get worse every day.  Your own mother can’t even stand you.”

So here’s Cassie, knowing that she handed the morphing cube over to Tom, and only she and Jake know, and she’s stressed and upset and she’s watching her best friend (who, unbeknownst to her, two books ago realized that she needed to be the bad guy in order to protect everyone’s innocence, but especially Cassie’s, and hey, do you hear those echoes in that conversation above?  With Rachel asking Cassie what they should do?  When two books ago she asked Cassie if she would kill David for her, since she was so adamant that Rachel not do it?  And Cassie faltered?) spiral into this war even more, and she has to know that they might not have gotten to the point where Rachel WOULD spiral this bad if she hadn’t given up the morphing cube, so not only is she stressed and upset and guilty in general, but she’s specifically feeling guilty because Rachel is getting worse, and it could be her fault.

And Rachel, Rachel expresses a lot of her frustration and anger physically, which is why a page later she makes a fist and goes to hit Cassie, but Cassie is verbal.  Cassie knows people, she knows where to hurt them and how to do it, and maybe she doesn’t punch them or morph into a grizzly, but the girl can do a whole shit ton of damage with her knowledge and her tongue.  So she hits Rachel, hard, where it hurts. 

So yeah.  A page later Rachel makes a fist and goes to hit Cassie.  Which I would imagine, at this point, is as much anger about her perceived betrayal as it is about the fact that Cassie just told her that she’s basically irredeemable.  Like, this is fucking Cassie, y’all.  The girl who can see the good in Yeerks- and she just told Rachel that’s she horrible, and she’s getting worse.  I mean, just- wow.  Ouch.

But then?  A book later?

I said, “Cassie, you guessed that letting Tom take the morphing cube might weaken rather than strengthen the Yeerks.  You guessed that Ax was…” I stifled the most bitter word that came to mind.  “… conflicted.  I’ll back your guess any day of the week.”

“I think he means he’s sorry he doubted you and treated you like crap,” Rachel said archly.

And then in the same book:

<Okay, then.  Get started.  Make sure Cassie doesn’t know.>

<You still don’t trust her?> Rachel said angrily.

So, despite the fact that Cassie basically told Rachel she was irredeemable, and despite the fact that Rachel would have hit Cassie if Tobias hadn’t stopped her… Rachel still gets angry on Cassie’s behalf.  Still defends her.  Still demands respect for her.  And after Rachel is dead, Cassie thinks about her constantly.  Her narrations are peppered with little asides about Rachel would have thought of this, what Rachel would have said about that.  She’s the one selected to identify Rachel’s body, along her Naomi.  Rachel is dead, but Cassie carries her with her at all times.

Their friendship is pretty messy at the end.  You put someone who wants to cling to her pacifistic ideals with her best friend who is basically a weapon and yeah, there is going to be tension.  But I think the core of that friendship remains.  Respect and trust.  I think that, ultimately, Cassie still thought Rachel was fearless and admired that; and Rachel still thought Cassie was pure and admired that.  And it gave them both a lot of strength, but it also hurt them, because Rachel needed to be fearless and all that that entailed for Cassie while Cassie needed to be pure for Rachel and in putting themselves into those roles, they ended up severing a lot of their ability to grow and change and adapt within their friendship.  (All the Animorphs did this, though, really.  It’s just so much more obvious when talking about Cassie and Rachel’s friendship because they end up occupying opposite ends of a moral spectrum in the war.)

But yeah.  I think it’s important to remember that no matter how many times Rachel and Cassie disagreed throughout the series, Rachel was always the one who defended Cassie and her beliefs, and Cassie always believed in Rachel, and they had each others backs.  I like to think that, had Rachel survived, Cassie would have been by Rachel every step of the way as she tried to return to civilian life.